Thats gay your gay

“That’s so gay” is always pejorative, always harmful, and always homophobic. It is especially harmful to kids struggling with their sexuality who have yet to come out. Think about this: For. Are you questioning your sexuality? Find out if you’re gay, straight, bisexual, or asexual. Learn what these terms mean and if they apply to you. With this, The Talon shines light on the phrase “that’s so gay”. The only thing that comes to mind when thinking of that phrase is the stereotypes that come along with that word, and centuries of oppression against the queer community.

“That’s so gay” can be homophobic, if it is said with negative intent or within a homophobic environment.

you're gay he's gay gif

Learn why using 'that's so gay' as an insult is harmful and how it perpetuates stereotypes, contributing to a culture of shame and discrimination against LGBTQ+ individuals. Times have a-changed! And although it sometimes looks like the world is getting worse, some things are definitely getting better. For the purpose of this post, I address parents whose children came out as gay or lesbian.

Most of it applies to kids who come out as bi or trans, but I hope to write a different post to address trans kids more specifically, since other social and cultural aspects come into play. They come to me because they want to prepare for the moment when their child opens up to them. Other times, parents need to process their own thoughts and feelings right after their child comes out as gay.

I consistently notice that even the most accepting parent asks some of the questions that I will answer here. As a parent, you want the best for your child. When your child comes out as gay, they are giving you new information about their identity that adjusts how you see them. This is not to say that this picture becomes better or worse — it just changes. Sexual orientation is inborn and mostly unaffected by culture.

Of course, a more accepting society allows gay individuals to come out earlier in life. This sometimes gives the impression that everybody is gay nowadays. But the percentage of gay individuals has been pretty steady they just used to live in hiding. Nothing that a parent can do makes a child gay or straight. Most gay children come from homes with straight parents and many positive straight role models.

Old Freudian theories that children become gay because of poor relationships with their fathers, or over-involved relationships with their mothers, have been completely debunked. This is just who and how your child is. Maybe they are left-handed, or maybe they are terrible at math and great at sports. Or, maybe they are gay. There is nothing you could have done to change that.

You can help them live their best life, though!

By the time your child comes out as gay to you, they have processed their thoughts and feelings about their sexual orientation for years. They have observed and analyzed their every experience. They have observed others in their community, and they have probably paid attention to how you talk about gay people in your family. They have already thought all these things through for quite a while.

You, on the other hand, may not have suspected any of it. As a parent, you have certain mental images of who your child is. You envision their future, and you do everything you can to help them reach the best future possible. When your child comes out to you, this image changes. Give yourself time. Your child has many years ahead still.