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Across the table from me was a South Korean guy who had watched videos of me eating KFC during his time serving for his home country's national military. He had told me that watching my videos made him happy and miss America. Now we were on a first date because I am a crazy narcissist. I asked him careful questions about his years in the service and his home country. He gave me polite answers and told me, a white boy from New York , that I should really make it over to Asia at some point.

I laughed at his question because I hadn't even said that I was Jewish yet, and I definitely didn't speak Hebrew. I'm one of those young chosen people who qualify as "Jew-ish" at best. One time I memorized a whole Hebrew pop song just to impress this Israeli guy," he said to me with eyes the size of my grandma's matzoh balls. He started singing and I envisioned my Hebrew school teacher Mr.

Shapiro correcting him sternly. I asked him what he likes about Jewish guys and the answer, of course, didn't surprise me: "Oh, it's their beards for sure. Love their noses too. I am Asian-American, and my college and post-college boyfriend was and still is, I guess half black and half white. We were driving cross-country one summer with two other friends, staying with whomever we could to save money.

I had asked a friend who lived in Chicago if we could crash with his family. He enthusiastically said yes. This friend was Mexican-American and came from a middle-class family. As we approached Chicago, I called him from a pay phone this was pre-cell phone era to let him know when we were arriving. He sounded very stressed; he said that we could no longer stay with him because his mother had been recently mugged by a black man and would not stand to have a black man in the house.

He felt so bad that he said he would pay for a hotel. I told him he didn't have to do that, but he insisted. He directed us to a hotel where he had already made a reservation. He probably had less money than we did, and the hotel, more like infested motel, certainly reflected that. I recall much argument that night among us four travelers about what my friend should have done or what each of us would have done, but I never blamed him.

Each generation can only try to make fewer mistakes than the last. Now, 20 years later, we are all still friends. I never thought I had a type, but I had also never dated anyone who wasn't white before I met my current girlfriend.

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When I first saw her and her smile , I was smitten. And there was a comfort and an instant ease that I'd never experienced before. I don't remember thinking about the possible issues we could face as an interracial couple or from the fact that I would be a Jewish woman from New Jersey dating a Bangladesh-born, Queens-raised Muslim woman. Of course, there are always the people who meet us for the first time and automatically assume the odds stacked against us.

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I'm a black girl who grew up in a predominately white neighborhood.